Monday, April 12, 2010

The NHL Playoffs Round 1 Eastern Conference Picks: The Casualties

The Washington Capitals and Les Montreal Habitants

Oh how the mighty have fallen. The once proud warriors of the St. Lawrence River have become mere shadows of their legends of times past. Barely making it into the big dance, these former yearly favorites are now mere fodder. And worse news for them, they face the giants of Washington.

Led by a madman of incredible power, the Capitals tower over the band of men sent for sacrifice. The only hope for the miss matched Canadiens is to some how slip away and hopefully find a weakness. But the giant's weakness may be to high for the small warriors to find, and these are not slow giants by any means. This is going to be worse than a slaughter, it will be the stepping on of a bug underfoot.

Caps in 4.

The New Jersey Devils and The Philadelphia Flyers

After deposing the Swedish king and leaving the unsleeping realm in ruins, the orange bandits take to their next quarry: the underworld of New Jersey. There are no rules here, no lows that can't be reached, no depths that cannot be traversed. This will be a match of deceit and violence and no tactic will be to base.

The flying bandits are known for twisting a knife in a wound and kicking the fallen while they're down. They're opportunistic speed and offensive power make them much more dangerous than they look. They'll stoop just as low as any Devil.

However, the Devils are not stupid. Their walls appear to be unbreakable, their defenses impenetrable. And every time you attack their legendary backstopping demon will suck the very life from you. As well they have acquired a veritable magician to strike lethal blows against the Flyers when they least expect it. However, the Flyers themselves have a giant mean guard dog who often makes meals of opposing teams forwards. The battle will be hard fought, and despite all the dirty tricks these two teams will throw at each other, it will truly come down to a battle of wits. And in the end, the Flyers will be led in a circling house of mirrors, while the devils drive a hidden dagger deep into their hearts.

Devils in 6.

The Sabres of Buffalo and the Big Bad Boston Bruins

The bear and the buffalo, an age old conflict. They know each other well and have always fought with bravery and valor. But as always only one may prevail and move on.

The bears are proud and strong, always stalwart and unified. However this time they are battered. Plagued with injury they march on to do their duty, but the future looks bleak. They can hold their ground, but can they take any? And that will be the question they need to answer when the time comes.

The buffalo are fast and strong and most importantly hard working. They are diligent and can taste the opportunity they have been given. They are led from the back end by a national hero, but everyone does their part. If they can push the pace they can break the stalwarts line and strike when the bear's weakness is revealed. Their window of time will be small, once they get in they will not let go. And they will claw it wide open. If the Boston defense falters, all is lost.

Buffalo in 6.

The Pittsburgh Penguins and The Ottawa Senators

The heroes return to defend their title and once again they are met with formidable statesmen in the first round. Their matches at these stakes in previous years revealed clear cut winners one way or the other. Will this time around be different?

The Senators have seemed to strike a deal with chaos. They have become two sides of a coin, a dominant powerhouse and frustrated mob. The team that shows up to this battle will determine what kind of match this will be. Their leader is an ever sly veteran, and their defenses are solid. But the turn of tides might as well be decided by a flip of the coin.

The Penguins of steel town know this road well and have traveled it year after year. Their own messiah knows the way and has the help of talented warriors and veteran tactitions. Patient and relentless they can change their attack at a moment's notice. And they will not stop until every last one of them has been accounted for and blunted. There is a fire in their eyes that frightens all who opposes them, it is only those who stand unfafraid that have a fighting chance.

The flip of the Senator's coin will only decide whether the battle is long or short. But the flightless birds ultimately hold their fate in their own hands, they will win.

Penguins in 5

The Eastern Conference is a tale of dominant teams. Those who fought so hard to get in depleted their own forces so much that they will have difficulty competing when it comes to the real battles. They may be brave and fight hard, but the class of the east will prevail.

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