Saturday, June 20, 2009
purpose
I do see that there are patterns that can be noticed, but I think looking at them as good or bad is a constricting view. These patterns are better noticed as things. If this attitude is takin towards them, a sort of neutral understanding and acknowledgement, then goals and understandings can be reached easier. However, I think one of the most important patterns to understand is that goals are an illusion. We look at them as an ending, a sort of unit of measurement. But really they are just a moment that comes and passes, that we talk about a lot. Things continue always. So maybe the goal should be to enjoy the path that we are on, and let it take us where we need to be. Take joy in the processes of existence. If some turn does not go the way we expected, instead of becoming furious, roll with it, enjoy it. We give ourselves a lot of expectations, but in the end they are just illusions. Sort of like when you root for your favorite sports team. You get into it, and want something to happen, you yell and you cheer, you get excited you get sad, you feel like your fandom will help the team win, when in fact, you are quite irrelavent. This is very much what expectations are like. Time, people, things, keep moving, the control you have over it is minimal if any.
Clearly the influence of my current toaist reading is coming out right now, however I think those texts are full of wisdom. They are so mysterious and contradictory and yet, they hit home so well. The hardest part however, is the truth of it is not something that can be put into words. You can talk and talk and talk about it all day, but the only true knowledge and understanding of taoism is through practice and experience. This is why most of it comes out in such contradictory terms, because it is not based on logic, but merely is trying to describe noticed truths.
In the end the point is, to take events as what htey are and think about how you can give them purpose in your life, instead of letting them decide things for you. And in a typical taoist fashion: the more you try to control the events, the more they decide for you, the more you just let them be and roll with them, the more you control them. Just something to ponder...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Just had my mind blown
So I picked up "The Conscious Mind" by David Chalmers after months of not reading it because I was stuck, or not in the mood or whatever excuse, I haven't really read anything in a while to be honest. Nothing real sit down, more like just short poems and things or chapters from the Tao Te Ching. Little did I know I was on the verge of stumbling upon an insane hypothesis.
The premise of the book is that consciousness (the qualities of experiencing things, the idea that experience does happen) is a very real thing. That it is in fact the one thing we can be most sure about in our lives, because it is the most immediate. Very Descartes, yes I know.
Anyway, the chapter I was reading he was discussing the problem that consciousness may be epiphenomenal. In other words, it is effected by the physical world but is in fact irrelevant to the real world itself. So Chalmers was explaining several ways that consciousness could be more than just a strange occurrence tacked onto the real world.
The argument he found most compelling was this: physics describes every thing in terms of it's extrinsic qualities. For example mass exists only in relation to energy and other mass. Distinctions between different types of elements are made purely in their relation to other elements, and how energy effects it. So what if there is an intrinsic quality to mass? What if that intrinsic quality is the proto-type for conscious experience and mass and energy and they are all related by that primordial beginning quality.
If you think about there's really no explanation or knowledge of what mass is. I mean, it does seem impossible that there would be all these relationships between things without any actual things to have relationships to, right?
Well it's certainly a thought, there is a lot that could be discussed on this. I just needed to get this out, and sit and think about it for a little while before I go back to reading more, or something else or thinking about something else. Just needed a bit of stewing time. It certainly fascinates the hell out of me.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
From the Blueline Pt. III: The Tao
The first line of the first chapter of the Lao Tze's writing. This line is brilliant in so many avenues. But it is also brilliant for hockey. In fact many true statements about life are useful for hockey, I feel, because hockey reflects the ever changing nature of life, just on a more compact scale.
While playing hockey you want to concentrate on what you should do and what is important, but you have to respect how quickly the game changes. And you need to change with the game, because you cannot force the game to change around you. There are 12 people out on the ice at one time all effecting the flow of the game, but that flow is much larger than any of those 12 people. That's why to be an effective hockey player you need to tap into that flow as much as possible. This is not as simple as it sounds.
Because the flow is created by those on the ice, including you, you must do what you can to shape the flow in your favor, though in a very taoist manner, not shape it at all. Describing these things never comes out quite right through language, but when you're on the ice you'll understand it much better. In hockey, if you work hard your time will come, but it may never come when you expect, however you need to be ready. When it passes you by, it is over. But when you capitalize, you celebrate.
And therefore just do your thing, stay focused, feel the flow, shape the flow, but you cannot change the flow, only direct it. You can't follow it, only float in it. "A Way that can be followed is not a constant Way."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
From the Blueline Pt. II: The Strange Medium
The first thing is pure intensity. Most of the time you spend on the ice you are either sprinting or hitting or battling somebody. All of these require fierce intensity and you can never give up an inch. The game is so fast that you need to be tenacious every moment. If you are not you will miss your moment when it comes, because it is a team sport and you can't decide when it will come, and it comes so fast, you may not realize it until it is gone. That is why hockey requires a constant fierce game. When you're battling for the puck along the boards, or racing to a puck, or racing from someone with the puck, there is no time to slow down.
The next thing is being relaxed on the ice. This may seem completely contradictory but it is in fact essential. The game is so fast and so intense, if you get caught up in it, you'll be caught out of position, or caught in a penalty, or just confuse the hell out of your own team. You need to take things in stride, not allow the other team's antics get to you. Breathe. Allow the play to flow through you instead of trying to force it. That almost always leads to bad plays and turnovers. Relaxing on the ice allows you to take everything in and evaluate it, otherwise there is just panic. Not to mention you want your hands to be relaxed so you can stick handle and pass with ease and finesse.
The last part of the balancing act is focus. It is extremely important to be aware of everything you are doing and everything everyone else is doing on the ice. Focus keeps you in the game so you don't get lost and you know where to pass when you get the puck. Also focus is extremely important in keeping you in the moment, not getting ahead of yourself or dwelling on the past in the game. Just being right there where you are in the game. A clear understanding of what needs to be done.
What makes the balancing act so strange is that it's less about keeping the three parts even, and more about maximizing all three of them as much as possible. The more you have of each, the better you will play, but if you don't have one of the other ones your play will quickly fall apart. If you just have relaxation, you will become complacent and you will revert to auto pilot. If you are just going through the motions, you might as well be a pilon, you will contribute nothing to the game or your team. If you only have intensity you will lose sight of the game, your position, the team aspect. You will begin to run around like a lost mouse. Essentially a complete waste of energy. If you only have focus, you'll stay out of the mix too much and get caught standing back from the play. You may second guess your actions instead of just doing them.
However, if you maximize all three, therein lies the true hockey player mind. You can control the play and get your nose dirty. Never give up an inch, but be able to read the play once you've gained control of the puck. Opportunities will arise from hard work and the culmination of your skills. You can have finesse and power. This is how you can really step your game up. This is what I strive for every time I step on the ice.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
From the Blueline Pt.I: The Sanctuary
But three times a week, there is a place I can go. My iron sanctuary. That huge garage filled with lifting cages, dumbells, medicine balls, footwork ladders and tractor tires. Where I can lift weight, lots of weight and that is all I need to think about. Just the mere simplicity of moving something heavy relieves so much built up worry. Explosion exercises, plyos, clean and jerk, velocity builder, I know I am getting stronger and faster than ever before, step by step. And it is a wonderful feeling, that such simple movements can be so important.
The man who runs it, is short, energetic and can bench press 500 lbs. He knows his shit too. And he is constantly researching to stay ahead of the game. Going to the gym you can trust that he has trained pro athletes before and every thing he does is trying to help you get to where they are. His two dogs wander around the gym, mostly staying out of peoples way, but butting their nose in every once in a while for a pet.
There are all different ages of people there. Some older, with joint and back issues, and some much much younger. High school athletes to college athletes to pro athletes. Power lifters to soccer players. Though never really crowded, there is always a variety of people there just exercising. Parents wait in the front, sitting and bullshitting and watching the various exercises, waiting for their children so they can drive them home.
At the gym, my sanctuary. When the frustration grows, and work gets under my skin, all I need is to enter that huge garage. Just move some weight and all is well.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
NHL Playoff first round predictions.
Alright, so here we go, let's start with what I'm less familiar with the west:
San Jose vs. Anaheim: Well the road is never easy for the Sharks is it? Maybe they should start to learn that Stanley Cups aren't just handed to you on platters. They've done what they always do this season. Destroy the regular season. Now it's time, this is the test, and how better to start with a team that just loves the playoffs (save last year). Anaheim is a dirty gritty mean son of a bitch kind of team. You got plenty of veterans who just play hard day in day out and you know you won't leave the corner without some lumber and welts.
Still all the Sharks did was just grab and grab dudes who've been there. I mean, the team is sick. They're gonna get past the first round, but it will be a test of character. Either they're gonna be bruised and bedraggled, or they'll finally learn what it takes to actually get that damn shiney piece of hardware. San Jose in 6.
Red Wings vs. Columbus: Wow finally make it to the playoffs and who are you paired with? This kind of reminds me of the NCAA pairings this year when my alma matter Binghamton made the basketball tourney for the first time, and who do they get: Duke. But what can you do? The blue Jackets gotta whipe that open mouthed look of awe off their face and face up to the most successful team of the last decade. Who knows, maybe Osgood and Conklin will blow it. Or maybe Osgood will take a tip from Roy and stick his stanley cup rings in his ears, he can't hear all this media bullshit. I love seeing Columbus make it this far, finally making the playoffs. But um, good luck. Red Wings in 5.
Vancouver vs. St. Louis: So St. Louis comes out steaming this year, just kicking ass at the beginning, then a rash of injuries, but they had a great end of the season, real hot. However, Roberto Luongo finally has some help. Vancouver actually has offense. Look out, this team is lookin to do some serious damage. Vancouver in 5.
Chicago vs. Calgary: The young guns out to have fun vs. a team of grizzled veterans. Khabibulin vs. Kipper is probably the key to this match up. However, I have a real soft spot for Jarome Iginla, not to mention who knows how Olli Jokinen will fair in the playoffs. Maybe this will come naturally to him, you never know. Most people are favoring Chicago in this one, but I'm gonna have to go with the grizzle. Especially if Dion Phaneuf gets healthy, I see this being one hard fought series. I'm gonna disagree with the experts and go against the grain (seriously, all the experts like Chicago). Calgary in 7.
Alright the east! Finally something I know about. That western stuff, well, I just do what the media tells me.
Boston vs. Montreal: Forget Yankees/Red Sox. Let's look at a rivalry that has shed some blood over the years. One of the most bitter rivalrys in sports and noone pays attention to it. Bruins vs. Habs, it's just baaaaad blood. Though I don't know how awsome this series is looking. Montreal is so soft this year, so disappointing in their centennial. I think they're really gonna blow it. Their "next one" goalie needs some work, and more importantly, the Boston Bruins are out of control. Hard hitting, goal scoring, tight defense, a 6'9 dude who does whatever the fuck he wants cause he's Zdeno Chara, I mean, these dudes are nasty. Sorry Montreal, it's over. Boston in 5.
Washington vs. New York: This should be an exciting series. Even if the Rangers are a pretty stingy defensive oriented team. What with Alex Ovechkin is not exciting? Not to mention Mike Green is scoring more goals than half the forwards in the league. Hard hitting crash and bang offensive hockey, gotta love it. Don't forget Alex Semin, slippery as a snake and sneaky as a rat. This team is just a lot to handle on offense.
But you can't forget the Rangers, and I don't think you can just play them off as roll overs either. It all rides on one man really, the rock and roll swede Henrik Lundqvist. What a cool dude. He'll probably stop pucks all over the place with his rock and roll swagger. Oh yeah, and Sean Avery's back, what a douchebag! And yet, he does his job so well. I bet his jersey's by Prada. Plus Mr. Clutch Chris Drury and speedy Scott Gomez along with the young gun Dubinsky. I mean they've got a chance right? Well, I guess, but Washington is just a freaking monster. Washington in 6.
New Jersey vs. Carolina: Marty Brodeur gets to cut down his net. Good for him, the winningest goaltender of all time. Honestly though, I think I might rather have Clemmenson in net. We'll see, it's kind of hard to bench the Brodeur. Their offense really came together too especially Parise, damn. Oh but the 'Canes. From workhorses to skill players, they really are an exceptionally ballanced team. Good offense, good defense and great goaltending. I've always liked Cam Ward. And Ron Francis is my hero. 'Canes get this one for being a real team's team, sort of like a toned down Red Wings. Carolina in 6.
Pittsburgh vs. Philladelphia: Go Penguins, I love this team. Give me a moment to say something good about the Flyers. Nice offense, good job, and good luck.
Best Center depth in the league, it's kind of absurd. Staal could be a first line center on many other teams. Crosby is an absurd playmaker, and an insane workhorse. He's sort of like a grinder with the top skills in the league. Oh yeah, and if Malkin wants to score he just says "puck go" and it's over. Also you've got Sergei Gonchar who can control the game, Brooks Orpik my hero, and Kris Letang who is clearly taking tips from Gonchar. Plus the grit and scoring ability of Kunitz and Guerin. What great pick-ups. And even though Malkin probably doesn't even need wings, Feds and Sykora compliment him well. That said, Philly really is a good team buuut. Pittsburgh in 6.
I can't wait :D.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Nostalgia
What I'm most interested in right now, is not nostalgia like your favorite movie when you were a kid, but that nostalgia that invents folk heroes and mythic epic tales. I think a great example of this is professional and college sports, especially in playoffs and for championships. For the player, they are just playing the game they've played since they were a little kid. However when they come up big, like Darren Mccarty in the 97 stanley cup clinching game, it becomes the stuff of legend. The weight of the situation is really all invented by the media, and looking back on it, it becomes hyped up more and more. Or even better the 1980 US olympic team defeating the russians. I mean on one hand it's just a game, on the other it's almost like a statement from this country in one of the biggest underdog stories of all time. All the surrounding circumstances just pile on and on every time we look back at that game.
And in many ways this is not that different than the way written legends work like King Arthur or Jesus. We really do not know much about the original people, but over time the stories have been built up so much they become powerful images in culture. Even just written history about George Washington is all a sort of legend in a way. And even though sports are caught on tape now and not passed down through word of mouth, they still have a culture that works in a similar way. Just talk to an American baseball fan and they get this look in their eye of the solemn importance of baseball in their life, that is the power of nostalgia and legend.
It can be both good and bad. Many people cling to their pasts and refuse to enjoy their present or future just remembering something that was once good. They refuse to move on and the nostalgia holds them hostage. This sentimentality has always been lost on me. People talk about how it was always better in the past, but really was it? And does it really matter? We should focus on the now and maybe learn from the past, but nostalgia really clouds a lot of peoples eyes when looking back, and it's dangerous.
However I think nostalgia can also be an incredible creative tool. Just understanding how legend works, the passage through word of mouth and the addition of the circumstances later. The identities people are given by those who remember them, colored by those people's memories. This has some potential to create new and interesting ideas based in old ones. Like borrowing a theme in classical music, or sampling a beat in rap. It gives old experiences a new flair, but using nostalgia as a creative tool.
There will be more on this...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Intro Post
Otherwise I guess I'll treat this sort of like a public journal, but try and focus on making it interesting. I'm not gonna do too much "this is how my day went" cause that's pretty damn boring. My days are not that exciting. Which is why I should have the time to post on here.
Anyway, now I must go, but soon I'll start putting substantial stuff up.